I’ve found out I have a trigger. I’m sorry. I’m about to rant.
You know what really squicks me out sometimes about the way this fandom treats Blaine? The fact that a lot of fans invalidate his feelings by dismissing him as a puppy or a five-year-old who has no idea what he’s doing.
That squicks me out so much.
I can appreciate a joke now and then. Sometimes it’s funny. But when it happens every single time he does anything, it gets scary frustrating and triggering for me. I’ve been in a few abusive relationships, and the way people constantly belittle or condescendingly discuss Blaine’s actions or speech or feelings is horrible. I hate that people constantly rephrase his words to make him sound like a kindergartner. I hate that people constantly use the words “oblivious”, “clueless”, and “naive” to describe him. I hate that serious meta bloggers constantly talk about how he’s got so much to learn and he doesn’t know what he’s doing and he’s going to be taken advantage of.
This is the way abusers talk to their victims. They make you feel like your thoughts and feelings are too immature or unfounded to matter. They take away all of your agency by implying that you don’t know what you’re doing. They undermine your legitimate concerns and doubts by making you sound like a child. They take everything you are and they show it back to you in a mirror of their own making that twists everything you say, do, or feel into something “adorable” and “cute”. You become something they condescend to. But it’s okay, they’re there to teach you. They’re there to put up with you when you do something they don’t agree with. You just don’t know what you’re doing.
Blaine has been gay-bashed. He’s been bullied. He’s been treated like an object by literally every single person he’s ever met. He has an emotionally abusive relationship with at least one of the men in his family. He took up boxing in order to protect himself from the world.
He is not naive or clueless about the world. He is not nearly as oblivious as people seem to prefer him to be. He’s actually one of the more mature, aware, and saner characters on the show.
He’s very good at getting what he wants without stepping on anyone’s toes. He’s intelligent. He’s ambitious. He’s deviously clever sometimes. He’s passive-aggressive. He can be vicious and angry. He makes mistakes. He hurts people. He is not socially-handicapped.
He is not a five year old. No matter how sweet and adorable those big hazel eyes are.
This past episode, he was violated in a fairly terrifying way by Sue—and no matter what the show was trying to say, public humiliation and sexual harassment (especially to the extent Sue took it) is not funny. His anger about this was entirely justified, and I don’t see why his tirade at Sue should be twisted into some kind of adorable little-kid temper tantrum when a similar tirade from any other character would be accompanied with “praise” gifs or a few “you tell her!”s.
Listen. By all means, objectify the guy all you want. Point out how adorable you think he looks, or how cute you think it is when he moves a certain way. This post may not change how you talk about him at all, and it’s totally up to you what you put on your blog.
I’m just pointing out that the way people talk about Blaine in this fandom is exactly the way every single abuser in my life has talked to me. To the letter.
I don’t know how you guys feel about it. But it squicks me out.